My life is next week

I am currently in my friend's house a summer vacation trip. This farther I am not able to get any of this summer. It is here the marine and outdoor swimming pool. At home, do not have them, so I guess this now, then, is pretty nice. The air is quite cold though, so I really can not go for a swim. By the way, I'm not quite sure I dare.

Waiting for the results of a painful desperation, Turku and Jyväskylä future next week. I want them now. I want to design my life and next autumn. Irritating so hard, after all, is quite open. Plans must be clear, otherwise I can not. No, it does not help that the next week is clearing a bit, I would like to design now! What most I can do before that? Nothing. Now I'm trying to calm down a little bit here in my friend's house and be without any stress. At present, perhaps the most stressaan fact, if I have to one full-time work in the autumn. I will not make any hard and scared that I need, and then everything goes back quite spoiled.

Harass

Now oppresses so much. If I were not such a coward, I'd kill myself. How anyone can play this Allo fat ugly stupid cow? I've never seen such ugly people, which takes me back to myself in the mirror. I can not be. I can not live. In the world there is no room for me.

I can not be in my apartment, because there is stiflingly hot. There shines directly from the sun throughout the day, and there is no balcony, no nothing. Only one room with a large window. Yard I can not go, because I'm ugly, so I dread. There, all the house grannies and grandpas sitting kyttäämässä and gossip. I do not want to go there. I live under a magnifying glass every time I leave ovestani rappuun.

How does this kind of person live? How I was able to be born into this world? God must have undergone the worst sort of mistake, no other explanation for this may come up.