Wednesday, December 7, 2016

Comfort food stressful for the heart

It makes you want to write, but there are no words for what I feel.

I lost my grandmother. Sorrow is great, even if it is just to have known, that this will ever happen. I just was not thinking about that now still.

I'm too stressed out from studying, volunteer myself of harvested hommista and finding work placements. It seems that here there was nothing. I'm like divided - another me running so fast, that the thoughts keep up and the other is sleeping under duvets in winter sleep. Tomorrow is the exam, I try to calm down and keep myself together so that I could read, and yet I would go for the exam itself. The heart beats too fast, and I can not get it any assistant

Tuesday, November 29, 2016

Goodies!

I eat a healthy diet with the exception of delicacies. They have been my problem. No matter how many additives, coloring agents, flavor enhancers, or even if the toxins in them, and still eat them. Plain food, however, I observe. Crazy? Black is. It's like those delights would not apply the same rules as ordinary foods. And there's nothing, if I eat them, say, once a week. I eat almost every day something like candy or sipsiä. I guess I'm kinda addicted to them. Should start candy and sipsilakko now for a little while, I guess they do not otherwise get rid of it!

Convenience Store checkout is often working at one of the wonderful boy. Then I would never buy sipsiä or large bags of candy, but if I buy, so only a 100-gram sachet. I laugh sometimes be such a silly girl! Just as the boy does not then he could guess that I eat a little bit more goodies. Oh, and hardly something to trade cash now anyway interested in my shopping and eating. On the other hand pretty good, that is a limiting factor in my gluttony!

Today I went to 50 minutes of jogging. Week should come to at least a further two hours of exercise more. Otherwise it's been quite an energetic day, and I got early in the morning to the University lectures. I took care of one of degree kurssikorvaavuuden, which I have tried to treat half a year and thinking about it almost every day. I have not yet taken kandintutkintoa out, because there is just such stupid little things to be done. Although I love the university, then slowly starting to feel like I figure that this step would already be over.

Wednesday, November 9, 2016

Healthy life

Yesterday, wonder of wonders, I went to mass workout. Punttijumpassa, which is probably similar to the pump body. trained with weights of all the movements, and there is no aerobic hyppelyosuutta. Lunge has always been a nightmare for me business, and indeed yesterday was no exception either. I did it without weights, and I still could hardly cope. It was forced to cheat and take short breaks. After an hour the legs were wobbly jelly and I thought, I can not get home to capsize a furious 300 meters walking distance. Today I have been well aware of the fact that I am jumpannut yesterday. AUAU. Must have the strength, the energy to move the body of this! Yesterday I was again the only fat man hours. There certainly was no one over 70 kilos, so I was at least 30 pounds heavier than the other. Nicely I could compare myself to. I guess I have some fat radar, which is looking for as soon as the other fat.

Somehow embarrassing sports, when there is a fat. I do not know why, pitäähän fat in sports and one fat man it's there jumppsalin outside. And rightly expect that either, that the lost weight first and then play sports.

Gourmets today karkkipussilla 110 grams, which did not even mind. It was only forced to eat. Fortunately, only about a little, and I do not in any 300 grams. The bad conscience of finding yet, even the way I have just eaten in moderation today.

Saturday, October 1, 2016

After a long time

Almost a year has passed from the time I wrote here last. After all, it turns Writing course in mind, but I just have not got around to it. A lot has happened, but at the same time, however, nothing. I think, however, that I have somewhat grown up, and I no longer have a problem with a bouquet of hajoileva than ever.

I started in the autumn of Master's seminar. Yes, I thought, and sometimes even to graduate. There are no studies so much left as I thought. New Year's Resolutions font will be completed at Christmas 2012, or no later than the beginning of 2013. I do not know whether it will happen, but at the moment it looks quite possible. If only I can get it done my master's thesis.

Well, I promised this year to find their man and alkavani socialize. There is even less success no guarantee either, but at least I do not feel so abominable ällötykseksi that I could use to anyone. I respect myself and I am worthy of love.

Perennial terapiani ended at Christmas. It came as a bit of a bad joint, when I was in the autumn of the quite unwell. On the other hand now when self-esteem is a little better, maybe I can manage without it.

The weight is the same readings as alkuvuodestakin, although in the summer I began laiharin, again. It did not take very long. I got as a result of the fall of the ballet lower back injury, which I have now kuntoutellut. This week's Monday night, I noticed that throughout the day there was no pain. Now I have been three days painless, so may have to go back to the gym the gym to recover those lost muscles.

I eat in honor of Laiharin point with iiiiison cheese cake, cupcake coffee. Later in the evening, then maybe aerobics.

Thursday, September 15, 2016

unrealized dreams

I do not remember if I ever told here good wishes as to how I would like to really live. I would like to be a housewife. I lived with a wonderful man and three children in rural areas. Kuljeskelisin outdoors in yellow wellies and I would laugh a lot. Playful with children, kokkaisin much, hoitaisimme plant the land and animals, the inside of a home, I would. We have cats, at least one dog, a pony, and perhaps some other animals. I'm dreaming of a farm, just a peaceful life in the country. As I recall, this is a dream I've had before hurahtamista interior design blogs, but let's not it ever be able to know where to even this inspiration has come. Home Motherhood daydreaming yes already in high school, but the countryside has become thoughts later.

I imagine the life in the countryside less hurried and less stressful. It may be that there I would be stressed out from the darkness and scared of dying burglary. I do not know if I would be any good mother, and we could go on laughing even in the least.

It do not think that this could be my future. However, there is always room for dreams. Dreams to get up in the morning out of bed. How to know it, even if it should be the future husband when I step out the door tomorrow.

Saturday, July 30, 2016

My life is next week

I am currently in my friend's house a summer vacation trip. This farther I am not able to get any of this summer. It is here the marine and outdoor swimming pool. At home, do not have them, so I guess this now, then, is pretty nice. The air is quite cold though, so I really can not go for a swim. By the way, I'm not quite sure I dare.

Waiting for the results of a painful desperation, Turku and Jyväskylä future next week. I want them now. I want to design my life and next autumn. Irritating so hard, after all, is quite open. Plans must be clear, otherwise I can not. No, it does not help that the next week is clearing a bit, I would like to design now! What most I can do before that? Nothing. Now I'm trying to calm down a little bit here in my friend's house and be without any stress. At present, perhaps the most stressaan fact, if I have to one full-time work in the autumn. I will not make any hard and scared that I need, and then everything goes back quite spoiled.

Monday, July 4, 2016

Harass

Now oppresses so much. If I were not such a coward, I'd kill myself. How anyone can play this Allo fat ugly stupid cow? I've never seen such ugly people, which takes me back to myself in the mirror. I can not be. I can not live. In the world there is no room for me.

I can not be in my apartment, because there is stiflingly hot. There shines directly from the sun throughout the day, and there is no balcony, no nothing. Only one room with a large window. Yard I can not go, because I'm ugly, so I dread. There, all the house grannies and grandpas sitting kyttäämässä and gossip. I do not want to go there. I live under a magnifying glass every time I leave ovestani rappuun.

How does this kind of person live? How I was able to be born into this world? God must have undergone the worst sort of mistake, no other explanation for this may come up.

Saturday, June 4, 2016

Summer, Part 1

I have made plans for the summer. They have been forced to do, when there is no summer job I'm doing and if there would be no timetable, hajoilisin just around again.

* I write ten essays in political science cumuun. This requires reading the ten cumun book.

* I write the two missing script task communication. This would now need to happen in the next couple of days, otherwise there will be hell.

* I study every day for at least an hour or so French.

* I read philosophy.

* Tan.

* My hobbies physical activity every day.

* I meet my friends, even those that are feeling like maybe I did not meet.

* I make myself healthy food.

And I do not lintsaa any of this stuff list.

Thursday, May 12, 2016

Friday the 13th?

It was not today, but if I were superstitious, so I think it was. In the morning I went to the gym and will train there agree an hour, until I went to pukkariin to blow and at the same time, that I have something to behold handkerchief dust in the bottom of the trousers I found. Well, was not, but had small holes which shone through the white cotton-alkkarit. I do not know realizes that no one, probably not, but it still was embarrassed! I then went further cross trainer for half an hour, I thought that just the same when I'm there already was, however.

I came home dropper drinking glass kitchen sink to the floor and it went quite a thousand shards. the biggest Noukittuani shrapnel I took a vacuum cleaner, and lo and behold, it was somehow broken down and absorbed properly at all. Our bathroom mirror cabinet attacked yet by the sink on the floor newish eye shadow, from which the second button (it is dark) broke up and spread around, of course, most of the white kylppärinmatolle. And the vacuum cleaner still does not work properly.

Today, not only was my day. Best to stay indoors and not to touch anything with anything.

Friday, May 6, 2016

Siwan fund anxiety

After the test of Jyväskylä struck anxiety. I do not in any university, while all. I talked about it today with Psykonet and anxiety more. If I can not, I have ties to work and training experiments, ammatinvalintapsykologille ... If I do not now, then the area is not correct! Help! No sector is not wrong, the area is completely correct. I just panicked. I guess I'm not. I study for a BBA and end Siwan Checkout rest of my life.

I've heard that leave my life on one card. Well, I'm glad that I figured even a single card, but it has now heard enough. Should have more plans, contingency plan contingency plan. I can not stand this anymore!

I want to kill myself mainly.

Friday, April 1, 2016

tanned fat on

Wiljami can be a little better today. Soldering iron it by dipping my finger in water and letting it lick it, but then it began to drink even yourself, as long as the cups raised and tilted it appropriately. I'm still hopeful about its improvement. It does not get any better. Since Wiljami now, however, is a little better shape, I'll go tomorrow to visit the entrance examinations in Jyväskylä, Finland. However, in the morning I go to visit my parents yet, and I will remain in Jyväskylä after the test to hang out, so I had time in the evening to watch the Wiljam yet. I do not want to think that I've rejected it.

It is probably quite useless trip to go and see them in experiments. I'm going anyway, at least I try to. I have already almost planned for next year with a view that I can not get into any college. Even now. I stay in Tampere and I read in the open as much as possible studies. I do not get stressed from work or any of that. I'll get myself into shape, that is, at last, begin to undergo regular therapy. That I sometimes should be intact.

I have taken the sun as kesällähän be brown. Admittedly, lightly tanned skin looks beautiful. Brown fat is always prettier than white fat man! It is a summer motto. I hardly dare to the beach this summer. Last summer, I attended a several times, and I felt like a whale. Maybe I will not bother to go there to scare children. Yes I probably scare even adults.

Still time to pääsykoekirjaa.

Thursday, March 3, 2016

Wiljami

Figure Wiljami last summer. Wiljami is now really out of shape, does not eat, does not drink, only sleeps and walks staggering, and no longer have even a box to pee. I am so sad. Maybe I do not ever want to no animal. Giving up is too painful.

I have just read today. I had my parents to stroke Wiljam and I tried to solder it by dipping a finger into the water and forced to lick water from it. That they might drink a little. Not very successful.

Why do all the good in my life disappears gradually? Nothing good is ever going to replace.
I went through the trafficking As I went home, wanted to bake brownies mansikkakuorrutuksella. I did not realize to buy sugar. I did not realize that when baked, baked goods usually put sugar. I put it instead Hermesetas, but it does not properly drive the same thing.

Wednesday, February 3, 2016

mixed feelings

Tampere entrance examination was yesterday. I really have not had time to think about what I think about it. It went badly, I'm sure. Or does it, at least not as far gone, that admission would be no hope. Can now see how the energy is no longer sufficient to Jyväskylä Tuesday's test. Somehow, I had put all my energy into that yesterday, when I would prefer to stay in Tampere. Still should be able to read. Today I mainly just slept.

In the Team took place after the test to eat in New York and had a wonderful time. The food was good, and I took up DESSERT! It was a cozy feeling when it was all the guys there. I have them miss. I am the most sane and happy just the company. We also went to the bar watching fudiksen the opening game and drinking cider. Two cider rang in the end of time unexpectedly. When I came home I was so tired that I did not like too tired to wash the make-up and crash into bed.

Should I have a feeling I'm doing something different after this test? I do not really know. It was difficult, however. I do not know. Pretty useless here now entertain any hopes, I know enough so that it does not go as well as it should have been.

Our cat is sick. It is getting really old, 15-year-old and pretty weak. It is not just eating a lot and not too tired to walk any. Sleeps mostly. Today it started breathing pretty hard. I can not take it off the bed. Then the collapse. I try to be strong and prepare for it in advance, but I just can not stand it. I can not stand the idea that everything ends. I can not stand the fact that everything changes. My childhood has not left any longer.