Comfort food stressful for the heart

It makes you want to write, but there are no words for what I feel.

I lost my grandmother. Sorrow is great, even if it is just to have known, that this will ever happen. I just was not thinking about that now still.

I'm too stressed out from studying, volunteer myself of harvested hommista and finding work placements. It seems that here there was nothing. I'm like divided - another me running so fast, that the thoughts keep up and the other is sleeping under duvets in winter sleep. Tomorrow is the exam, I try to calm down and keep myself together so that I could read, and yet I would go for the exam itself. The heart beats too fast, and I can not get it any assistant

Goodies!

I eat a healthy diet with the exception of delicacies. They have been my problem. No matter how many additives, coloring agents, flavor enhancers, or even if the toxins in them, and still eat them. Plain food, however, I observe. Crazy? Black is. It's like those delights would not apply the same rules as ordinary foods. And there's nothing, if I eat them, say, once a week. I eat almost every day something like candy or sipsiä. I guess I'm kinda addicted to them. Should start candy and sipsilakko now for a little while, I guess they do not otherwise get rid of it!

Convenience Store checkout is often working at one of the wonderful boy. Then I would never buy sipsiä or large bags of candy, but if I buy, so only a 100-gram sachet. I laugh sometimes be such a silly girl! Just as the boy does not then he could guess that I eat a little bit more goodies. Oh, and hardly something to trade cash now anyway interested in my shopping and eating. On the other hand pretty good, that is a limiting factor in my gluttony!

Today I went to 50 minutes of jogging. Week should come to at least a further two hours of exercise more. Otherwise it's been quite an energetic day, and I got early in the morning to the University lectures. I took care of one of degree kurssikorvaavuuden, which I have tried to treat half a year and thinking about it almost every day. I have not yet taken kandintutkintoa out, because there is just such stupid little things to be done. Although I love the university, then slowly starting to feel like I figure that this step would already be over.

Healthy life

Yesterday, wonder of wonders, I went to mass workout. Punttijumpassa, which is probably similar to the pump body. trained with weights of all the movements, and there is no aerobic hyppelyosuutta. Lunge has always been a nightmare for me business, and indeed yesterday was no exception either. I did it without weights, and I still could hardly cope. It was forced to cheat and take short breaks. After an hour the legs were wobbly jelly and I thought, I can not get home to capsize a furious 300 meters walking distance. Today I have been well aware of the fact that I am jumpannut yesterday. AUAU. Must have the strength, the energy to move the body of this! Yesterday I was again the only fat man hours. There certainly was no one over 70 kilos, so I was at least 30 pounds heavier than the other. Nicely I could compare myself to. I guess I have some fat radar, which is looking for as soon as the other fat.

Somehow embarrassing sports, when there is a fat. I do not know why, pitäähän fat in sports and one fat man it's there jumppsalin outside. And rightly expect that either, that the lost weight first and then play sports.

Gourmets today karkkipussilla 110 grams, which did not even mind. It was only forced to eat. Fortunately, only about a little, and I do not in any 300 grams. The bad conscience of finding yet, even the way I have just eaten in moderation today.

After a long time

Almost a year has passed from the time I wrote here last. After all, it turns Writing course in mind, but I just have not got around to it. A lot has happened, but at the same time, however, nothing. I think, however, that I have somewhat grown up, and I no longer have a problem with a bouquet of hajoileva than ever.

I started in the autumn of Master's seminar. Yes, I thought, and sometimes even to graduate. There are no studies so much left as I thought. New Year's Resolutions font will be completed at Christmas 2012, or no later than the beginning of 2013. I do not know whether it will happen, but at the moment it looks quite possible. If only I can get it done my master's thesis.

Well, I promised this year to find their man and alkavani socialize. There is even less success no guarantee either, but at least I do not feel so abominable ällötykseksi that I could use to anyone. I respect myself and I am worthy of love.

Perennial terapiani ended at Christmas. It came as a bit of a bad joint, when I was in the autumn of the quite unwell. On the other hand now when self-esteem is a little better, maybe I can manage without it.

The weight is the same readings as alkuvuodestakin, although in the summer I began laiharin, again. It did not take very long. I got as a result of the fall of the ballet lower back injury, which I have now kuntoutellut. This week's Monday night, I noticed that throughout the day there was no pain. Now I have been three days painless, so may have to go back to the gym the gym to recover those lost muscles.

I eat in honor of Laiharin point with iiiiison cheese cake, cupcake coffee. Later in the evening, then maybe aerobics.

unrealized dreams

I do not remember if I ever told here good wishes as to how I would like to really live. I would like to be a housewife. I lived with a wonderful man and three children in rural areas. Kuljeskelisin outdoors in yellow wellies and I would laugh a lot. Playful with children, kokkaisin much, hoitaisimme plant the land and animals, the inside of a home, I would. We have cats, at least one dog, a pony, and perhaps some other animals. I'm dreaming of a farm, just a peaceful life in the country. As I recall, this is a dream I've had before hurahtamista interior design blogs, but let's not it ever be able to know where to even this inspiration has come. Home Motherhood daydreaming yes already in high school, but the countryside has become thoughts later.

I imagine the life in the countryside less hurried and less stressful. It may be that there I would be stressed out from the darkness and scared of dying burglary. I do not know if I would be any good mother, and we could go on laughing even in the least.

It do not think that this could be my future. However, there is always room for dreams. Dreams to get up in the morning out of bed. How to know it, even if it should be the future husband when I step out the door tomorrow.

My life is next week

I am currently in my friend's house a summer vacation trip. This farther I am not able to get any of this summer. It is here the marine and outdoor swimming pool. At home, do not have them, so I guess this now, then, is pretty nice. The air is quite cold though, so I really can not go for a swim. By the way, I'm not quite sure I dare.

Waiting for the results of a painful desperation, Turku and Jyväskylä future next week. I want them now. I want to design my life and next autumn. Irritating so hard, after all, is quite open. Plans must be clear, otherwise I can not. No, it does not help that the next week is clearing a bit, I would like to design now! What most I can do before that? Nothing. Now I'm trying to calm down a little bit here in my friend's house and be without any stress. At present, perhaps the most stressaan fact, if I have to one full-time work in the autumn. I will not make any hard and scared that I need, and then everything goes back quite spoiled.

Harass

Now oppresses so much. If I were not such a coward, I'd kill myself. How anyone can play this Allo fat ugly stupid cow? I've never seen such ugly people, which takes me back to myself in the mirror. I can not be. I can not live. In the world there is no room for me.

I can not be in my apartment, because there is stiflingly hot. There shines directly from the sun throughout the day, and there is no balcony, no nothing. Only one room with a large window. Yard I can not go, because I'm ugly, so I dread. There, all the house grannies and grandpas sitting kyttäämässä and gossip. I do not want to go there. I live under a magnifying glass every time I leave ovestani rappuun.

How does this kind of person live? How I was able to be born into this world? God must have undergone the worst sort of mistake, no other explanation for this may come up.